It was a dreading Wednesday for me. No one wants to do their assignments during the semester break, especially when you haven’t had any decent breaks for a year. Yet I’m here, doing my own group assignment while procrastinating a bit, scrolling through my LINE timeline when I saw this post about Yuyun, the girl that was raped by a gang of 14 underaged sick fucktards and died horribly. Yes, the case was trending months ago, but it was really tempting to purchase my one way ticket to The Dark Playground and write this uncertainly shallow post.
As we look at the world today, I believe that most of people we know of are judgmental. That of course, including me. For the very first disclaimer, I’m writing this not for the sake of satisfying my own ‘judgmentalism’, but rather to (hopefully) change some people’s mindsets about rape culture in Indonesia. Firstly, I’m still in a dilemma on how would I take the freedom of expressing your sexual desires. Not that I’m willing accept the freely expressed desires; yet I certainly do not accept the oppression of the still-in-boundary-and-not-harming-the-society public display affection, although it was by law of any means. Secondly, before you throw away your imbecile comments about how I am such a disrespectful person towards religions because I do not accept flagellation for such small matters, let me tell you this: I’m currently an agnostic and I take the ‘good’ values and ignore the ‘bad’ values taught in any religious views I encountered as a guide to my challenging life in the world. All of those good and bad values selections are based on my own view: everything you do should not be harmful to the society, your surroundings and yourself. To tell you about my practice, I’m still far from perfect, but I know I’m getting there.
So, back to the Yuyun’s case. 3 months ago, enraged by the court’s decision that those fucktards do not receive 20 years of sentence, I looked at the comment sections where I hoped that all of the people went against such extremely hostile punishment. I was outraged that there were still some people that said “that’s her fault to walk alone”, “she should’ve worn a much unrevealing clothing”, and other stupider things. What enraged me even more, that some people blamed it on alcoholism. What? Alcoholism? How dumb can you be?
This is it. This is what’s wrong with the majority of Indonesians’ mindset. Play the fucking blame game so incorrectly if the world is run by them I’m sure that wars will never stop. Blame the victim, blame the alcohol, blame the porn; blame no other than themselves. That do not think people have the right to wear a proper school uniform as given by the national standard and walk home as an independent child. That do not think that any form of sexual assault including catcalling is not okay. That think that woman should do all the hassles to not getting raped. That do not think to hold their sinful sexual desires just a bit and blame the victims when the sexual desire itself unleashed. Do they know that male can also be a rape victim? Do they know that woman can also be a raper? Whom do you blame that to? The male’s clothes? Alcohol, when it is not even involved? Please work hard to decrease your level of stupidity.
Rape culture is telling girls and women to be careful about what you wear, how you wear it, how you carry yourself, where you walk, when you walk there, with whom you walk, whom you trust, what you do, where you do it, with whom you do it, what you drink, how much you drink, whether you make eye contact, if you’re alone, if you’re with a stranger, if you’re in a group, if you’re in a group of strangers, if it’s dark, if the area is unfamiliar, if you’re carrying something, how you carry it, what kind of shoes you’re wearing in case you have to run, what kind of purse you carry, what jewelry you wear, what time it is, what street it is, what environment it is, how many people you sleep with, what kind of people you sleep with, who your friends are, to whom you give your number, who’s around when the delivery guy comes, to get an apartment where you can see who’s at the door before they can see you, to check before you open the door to the delivery guy, to own a dog or a dog-sound-making machine, to get a roommate, to take self-defense, to always be alert always pay attention always watch your back always be aware of your surroundings and never let your guard down for a moment lest you be sexually assaulted and if you are and didn’t follow all the rules it’s your fault. First source. Second Source.
Okay, now we get that some (if not most) Indonesians are trapped in rape culture. How fucked up is that? But I’m gonna take it with a different approach. Rather than questioning the fucked-up-ness, I’ll question the sources that got them have that kind of mindset. Dogma, they call it. TL;DR: because the society says so. Why does the society say so? Because the *insert any form of scripture* says so. Have you people ever questioned why the Bible or the Quran say so? To me, I believe that there’s always a reason behind God’s commands. I won’t blindly accept any form of rules without any rational reason (except for love, but that’s another story). Let’s begin with the words written in Bible, as I was raised by a fanatic Christian family.
Of course you know that it’s one of ten God’s law that adultery should not be committed. In Indonesian Bible, they translate it into “Jangan berzinah”. Zinah? I looked up for the word in Indonesian wikipedia and I’m not satisfied in the least. Adultery is defined as “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse,” but zina is defined as “a sexual intercourse between a man and woman that are unmarried”. How come did the Indonesian Bible get it wrong? It was a fatal translation mistake. Then again, I don’t know the real Hebrew word that was really written there, much less I do know about its real meaning. It could’ve been lost in translation as well (one of the criticism that Christians endure by Muslims). The point is, zina is sexual immorality (which was not defined so clearly either). And according to this, Paul said that it’s better to practice the intercourse when you’re married. According to this, rape is a disgusting action and should be punished, and the victims should not bear anymore burden after what they’ve been through. The reason behind all of those rules (for me), is because people will get hurt if any of those are committed. The cheater’s spouse, the family, the guy/girl the cheater was cheating with will get hurt, the rape victims will get hurt, the family of the rape victims and the raper will also get hurt.
What about the laws that are written in Quran? To be frank, I’m quite scared to write about this, because I know very little about Islam. But so many Indonesians linked everything to the Quran’s teaching. And you know what college students say, “in Google we trust”. So I’m going to base this on the 1st to 3rd links I found in google’s glorious search engine. First of all, any form of zina (including masturbation) is completely prohibited in Islam. Like, completely. Okay. Then what about rape? It’s even more frowned upon. It’s all the same as in Bible. Men should respect woman and the woman is not to be blamed when she was being raped. There were some additions though, that woman should also cover themselves to protect their own sacredness. All of these, again, are for the sake of people do not harm others.
But didn’t you guys hear about the rape cases in Middle East, towards Indonesian female workers and even their own ladies? Don’t bother with statistics. Most of them are too scared to report because apparently when you no longer have a hymen, you’re a disgrace to the family. As if being traumatised by rape wasn’t enough. What makes it even worse, it is required to bring at least 4 (and 2 in Indonesia) eye fucking witnesses to the court. Rapes were successfully done because there were NO witnesses. That’s why the justice was not constituted sometimes. Are you aware that it is the law in Middle East that woman should cover themselves, thereby there’s no reason to blame it on their own clothing? So how come that the rapes still occur? Are you gonna shut your fucking eyes and still blame the victims? Are you that stupid? Scientists discover things because they questioned things and test it, rather than saying, “oh it’s the way it is. Don’t bother. We can melt golds because God wants it to melt”.
(I’d like to apologise as I don’t understand the laws in other religious views, and I’ll add my procrastination as my excuse. I have to get this done while getting my points across and continue to do my own assignments.)
Okay, for commenters who blamed the victim, are you aware now that in your own religion, your prophets say that victims should not be blamed? It’s all in the raper’s lack of control in sexual desires, for fuck’s sake. If you’re real religious and you follow the teachings correctly, the desire shouldn’t even be there in the first place, because that’s a sin. People that are good at controlling their desires won’t even be triggered by a naked person. Hence…why? Why do Indonesians not know about this? Is it because people who teach them do not teach it the right way for their own selfish oppression desire against woman? Or is it because they just blindly follow the Middle Eastern injustice? If that so, why do people follow the bad things? Why do people want to harm woman, or any rape and sexually assaulted victims for that matter?
I read a lot of pages that explained how rapers or sex offenders chose their victims. Most—if not all—of them found out that the suspect went for the victims that seemed weak. Not because of their clothes. I read an article about a year ago in en.rocketnews24.com that Japanese train sex offenders would chose to assault students with uniforms or neatly dressed woman worker rather than slutty-dressed woman with her cleavage shown and such.
Do you still want to blame the victims and their clothes?
As I said before, I’m an agnostic (for now). I uphold morality and take any religious good values into account. Personally, I conclude that everybody should be aware of their own sexual desires, and that sex education is crucially important (that is apparently lacking in Indonesia). Don’t even dare to say that US still have more reported rape victim cases than our country. In addition to having 27% higher population than ours, the percentage of rape reports is of course higher than ours. We still have that public and family shaming to rape victims, and that’s inadmissible in the highest degree IMO. Of course few wanted to report when their families and society cursed them for being rape victims, and much fewer people want to take them as spouses since.
Again, the society’s mentality. Why don’t you reflect on yourself first? Didn’t your religion teach you to be a better person? And again, don’t you dare to put the “bank without any security system will definitely be robbed” example. Do you know about honest jar? It is a common payment system in the foreigners’ world. Basically when a store which has no cashier, they put the jar to which the customers pay the items by putting their money inside the jar in accordance to the items’ real price. They can take their own changes from the jar. If any of those customers have your displeasing mindset, none of the honest jars system would work. They’ll steal the money and the items everyday and blame the store for having that jar, because fuck them. That’s how fucked up your mindset and your view are. Why don’t you be an honest person by paying for everything you bought and leave the jar alone?
That’s why my concern is in your mindset, and your mindset can only be shaped by a good education system. I blame no other than the education system that was failingly brought by the government. We have the internet, we know by 5 seconds of google search which countries that succeed in their education system. Yet why are we still falling behind? Why isn’t there any proper sex education in this country? Why won’t the government send someone to one of the Scandinavia countries to learn about their succeeding education system and apply it here? Where did all of the government spending go? Corrupted? Do you know how to prevent corruption? Set a good morality within the younger generation. Do you know how? Education. Yes, everything can be corrected by education. So, please, for people who’ve reached this section, open your mind. Everybody has to respect each other’s sexuality and every other bigger things that are related to morals. Please make this country a better place.
Now I’m going back to my assignment. I spent an upsetting 5 hours to write this.
Disclaimer: A lot of things that I mentioned (aside from my opinions((I know, triple parentheses are annoying) please learn to differ opinion and facts)) are known because I read it somewhere random. Whether it was 9gag, random posts on the internet, Facebook, comment sections in any posts etc., I do not know how to find the resources anymore and if you really want to, you can help me to correct those writings based on facts with correct resources. Forgive my grammar mistakes here and there, this is not an English class. And yes, I’m not good at writing an essay. And I didn’t do any double checking. There would be no differences even if I wrote this in Indonesian. I just suck at it.